Walking the Dawgs in Charleston: Keydet Rugby 4-0 on the Season after Win against The Citadel

I report to you as a passenger of an Abbot bus, driving through the beautiful South Carolina on a blessed Sunday afternoon. I, and about 30 other cadets, am returning to the glorious Virginia Military Institute (VMI) to be met with a Breakfast Roll Call (BRC) and a class dyke uniform inspection (aggressively narrated by Sergeant Major Jonathan Faff) to reward them for their back-to-back wins in Charleston. The first game was an aggressive, hard-fought match against the College of Charleston Cougars, which ended in a 45-31 win for the VMI Keydets. 2/C Nathan "Howie" Howerton '27, the starting fly-half who is as skilled as he is mouthy (he is very skilled), put points on the board, making all of his penalty kicks and extra points, and calling the game after 80 minutes with a big punt out of bounds. General Committee Historian, Caleb "Ol' Reliable" Chandler '27, put two tries on the board, breaking stride at what appeared to be a million miles a minute, all the while making it look so effortless. 2/C Matthew "The Head" Norman '27 went off for a HUGE try towards the end of the match to further secure the win, breaking three tackles and dribbling heads like basketballs for a 50+ meter try and score. After securing the win and shaking hands like gentlemen (after all, rugby is a game of savages played by gentlemen), the Keydet rugby team spent a few hours together by the pool, dipping their sore muscles in the water and munching on pizza, knowing the weekend was not yet finished. The next morning at 1000, VMI stepped onto The Citadel's drill field to complete the ultimate mission of their weekend trip: to walk the Bulldogs on their own turf in a match of rugby. Watching those boys, you would not have even thought they had played another physical game just 24 hours earlier. The moment the Keydets kicked off, they repeatedly tackled the Bulldogs back until 2/C Howerton '27 put three points on the board, impressive but not unexpected. When kicking off again, the Keydets this time pushed the Bulldogs back until they were near their own try-zone. It was then that the Bulldogs foolishly and desperately attempted to kick the ball whilst getting tackled by 3/C Sadler "Call Me Saddy" Boykin '2-8, leaving the ball to go straight up in the air to get caught by seasoned veteran Richie "Last of His Kind" O'Connell III '22. With three steps and a gentle tap of the ball on the grass, he was able to put the first try on the board. With the score now 10-0, it might as well have been 0-0, given how hard our Keydets fought. It was obvious they wanted the win more, playing what the Old Corps calls "Stonewall Defense" and not allowing a single opposing try, even holding up a potential scorer in the try zone to prevent them from scoring and gaining possession. A rambunctious swarm of 2nd class ruggers, 2/C Augie "You Gonna Eat That?" Arnaiz '27, 2/C Rafe "I Can't I'm On Confinement" Clendenin '27, and (surprise, surprise) 2/C Howerton '27 scored off a tap-and-go play following a 60-meter run from 3/C Boykin. At the end of the day, an already beat-up VMI team wanted it more than a fresh Citadel Bulldogs squad (their knobs are allowed to play rugby, Commandant's Staff), and we ended up winning 27-0. Now being 4-0 on the season, Keydet Rugby is proud and privileged to represent VMI through their efforts on the pitch, especially in beating the Bulldogs of our rival college, The Citadel. In the eloquent words of rap artist Too Short, "if you can't hang with the big dogs, stay on the porch." Our Keydet rugby team showed that they could not only hang with the big dogs, but also take them for a walk, as demonstrated by their dominant win over The Citadel.