New DOs and DON'Ts to keep the Corps in line

There've been a lot of rumors on changes to the Ratline this year and a video posted on line of the recent Board of Visitors (BOV) Executive Session included Maj. Gen. Wins holding up a mysterious page saying "Lord" Commandant developed "DOs and DON'Ts" for the Corps. Always inquisitive, The Cadet asked the VMI Communications Czar, "What are the "dos and don'ts" Maj. Gen. Wins said were developed for cadre and the ratline? Can we have copies? Who from the First Class drafted and gave their approval for them?" The response was "Questions about transgender policy will be answered separately by Col. Young." In lieu of the "Lord" Commandant's decree of the "official DOs and DON'Ts" for VMI cadets for THEIR ratline (actually it's supposed to be the Class of '24's Ratline to run...), and trying to wrap our shakos around the answer we received to our questions, your authors, Tacitus Kilgore and P. Joe, at The Cadet decided to doctor up our own list for our fellow cadets to follow as we all return to Mother "I": 1. When you are asked to stop by ComStaff or the Guard Team, DO run away and try to hide in a BR's room, DON'T give your name or class. 2. During a formal inspection, DO offer the inspecting officer a glass of any spirit you have readily available, DON'T forget the garnish. 3. Proper behavior in Crozet, DO serve the 1st class and show respect by giving them your seat, and stand up to eat, DON'T forget to thank the workers. 4. If you see your BR upset, DO tell others in your class that you saw them crying, this spreads awareness and helps drum up support, DON'T talk to them, silence is golden, and they need to be avoided . 5. Dating in barracks, DO NOT, DON'T date in barracks - it never ends well. 6. Friday Fun night, DO have fun and support the Greater Lexington economy by employing the population to deliver us our DoorDash and Uber Eats, DON'T go to the Stop-n-Rob for sugary drinks that can cause headaches. 7. W&L parties, DO go, experience a normal college, DON'T wear street clothes, you need to represent VMI, and show those W&L losers that we're cut from a better cloth. 8. Rat-Cadre interactions, DO report a Cadre member if they yell at you or your Co-matriculant, DON'T listen to the Cadre member if they order you to do something that might be hard. 9. After TAPS shenanigans, DO Monkey, DON'T go gentle into that good night 10. In case of fire alarm, DO exit barracks in a timely manner, DON'T expect it to end in a timely manner and DO bring hay for good measure. 11. When in the Barracks Study Room (BSR), DO make as much noise as possible, the "S" in Barracks Study Room stands for "Fun!", and it should be the goal of every cadet to have as much fun as possible before bed time and warm milk. DON'T - there are none! 12. Speaker usage, DO Blast Musica Mexicana, DON'T play classical music, that genre is only for uppity folk who think having a savings account is a worthwhile investment. 13. Barracks Lawyers, DO go after your BRs if they have offended you, DON'T take NO as an answer when questioning cadets, they have no rights. Due process? Due your taxes more like! IRS is scarier than VMI, they took down Capone. 14. Boats, DO carry them, DON'T burn them……..yet. 15. Sunday Worship, DO have fun, DON'T stay at VMI. 16. Ring Figure, DO have a lot of fun, DON'T end up in County jail, unless it'd make a good "back in my Corps" story for the Alumni functions. Remember, "accidents cause people" 17. Drill and ceremony is a foundational skill of a VMI cadet, DO practice it as often as possible, DO encourage your BRs to do the same through any means necessary. There is no DON'T! 18. Wall decor, DO tape up the Honor Court charter, DO tape up the RDC charter… upside-down. 19. Thirds, DO eat turds, DON'T stop. 20. Respect to upper-classmen, DO nothing for them, DON'T acknowledge the General Committee (GC) email. 21. FTX prep, DON'T do physical conditioning. If Navy, DO pray the projector is broken. 22. Shaving cream, DON'T just use it on your face, DO share it with your BRs; over their face, their clothes, their belongings in their room, or the room itself. 23. Pets in barracks, DO see how long you can keep them, DON'T walk them on a stoop without them wearing proper uniform. 24. Stoop Fight, DON'T lose - losers get special-ed. 25. Stoop fishing, DON'T give thirds candy, DO take rats' hay straps. 26. Coming back to barracks, DON'T! 24 + 3. Rats, DO STRAIN. DON'T think it will get easier…