The Ingenuity of the Old Corps

&emsp;&emsp;Recently here, one of my barracks projects started making the rounds again, and I figured I'd set the record straight, and provide some insight about it. Bottom line up front: during 1st Class year, in my last semester, I made a cardboard and paper mache replica of an M14 rifle, and I did in fact march one parade with it. For those interested, this is that story. &emsp;&emsp;My real name is Ryan Buell, and I was a First Class Private in Alpha Company, Class of 2011. I'm originally from southern California, and matriculated in 2007. I had been a Corporal, then an S-5 SGT, I had done VMI Rugby, Trap and Skeet, Rat Challenge Cadre, and had done a lot of photojournalism, articles, and cartoons for The Cadet newspaper and the VMI website. I was a history major, and not the world's best student, and by 1st Class year, I was a Private (academic probation and bar fights will do it), and had set up my course load for my last semester to be pretty light to just cruise out of there easily and just be done. &emsp;&emsp;With no real responsibilities, not on the commissioning path (anymore - a story on its own), and a light course load, my last semester left a lot of... free time. This is typically when and where things go wrong in the barracks -too many Keydets with too much free time. "Free time" was almost always an extreme rarity, but when it did happen -it was lawless (well, at least for 2011. There is a reason LexPo hates VMI Cadets). &emsp;&emsp;I've always been an artist, and was always sketching, painting, taking photos of VMI activities and sports, and always finding ways to fill the time before it was over. One night, I was watching Escape From Alcatraz -a movie I hadn't seen since I was a kid, and when it got to the scene of the prisoners making paper mache "heads" to fool the guards, I happened to look beyond the screen of my laptop and our rifle rack was in the background. Suddenly, it hit me -what if I were to make a fake M14? I believed I had the skills to do it, and (much like prison), I felt it would be the finest way to get one off on the Institute before I left. If I got caught, it would just add another rule to the Blue Book that I created, and ultimately, if you didn't help create a new Blue Book rule, what even was your Cadetship? &emsp;&emsp;And real quick -I'm grateful for my time at VMI, the lifelong friends I made there, and how much it helped me later in life, especially as an Infantryman and NCO in the Army later, and overseas on deployments. I'm not resentful towards VMI at all, and having a BA in History from such a place really is a history fanatic's dream. But also, as a First Class PVT, it's not really an attitude, it's a lifestyle, and that's just how it goes (or went back then). &emsp;&emsp;First thing I did was tell my 3 other roommates what I was cooking up -I didn't really care what happened to me, but if I got found out, it could've affected them. They were all rankers and about to commission, including one of them being the Alpha Co. Commander. They were all 100% supportive, and luckily between their studies and ranker duties, I had enough time without them there to get the job done, slowly at a time, bit by bit. I don't know how it is now, but at the time the window shade always had to be up, and our doors had no locks at all. If any number of people came in and discovered me working on this, I didn't want anyone else there. &emsp;&emsp;So, I began acquiring materials. Extra misc boxes from the QMD. Scraps of cardboard. Coat hanger cardboard tubes from the Laundry Dept for the barrel and structure. Anything I thought was useful or could be used to build this thing, I scavenged it -and I wanted to keep it in line with the "Alcatraz" theme: use what you can scavenge. I had a number of paints and brushes, and even an airbrush and compressor from previous work, but I needed plaster of paris, or something I could use to make the contours of the stock. I did have to go to Walmart and get a hot glue gun and super glue, and a Lexington hobby shop for the plaster mix. &emsp;&emsp;Over the course of a month, I chipped away at it, building it in sections. Having the actual end-product to compare, measure, and work with was crucial to making it look right, and getting the right size. I wasn't going to be satisfied with just making it look good from parade-distance; I needed this thing to pass the "5 feet away" test, as when we staged in the courtyard before stepping off on parade, the Commandant's Staff would work amongst us to inspect our Dyke straps and everything else. This simply had to look as legit as possible, as close as possible. I wanted only the weight of it, if held, to be the only real giveaway that it was fake as hell. &emsp;&emsp;Of course, VMI is the only military college in our country that fixes bayonets during parade (due to our lineage with the VMI Corps of Cadets fighting at the Battle of New Market). This did complicate things, as the cardboard hanger tube barrel could not support the weight of the real M14 bayonet. So now, I had to make a working bayonet lug, and bayonet, that would fit in the real bayonet scabbard, and that could actually affix and lock in place on the fake rifle. So again, I used the real deal as a comparison to make a cardboard bayonet, complete with a spring-loaded button to lock and unlock the bayonet onto the bayonet lug (the spring being salvaged from a ballpoint pen I took apart). &emsp;&emsp;As things were shaping up, rumors were spreading like wildfire. On the stoops, my BRs were talking about it, and we had people stopping by randomly to ask about it and possibly see it. Once it was complete, I even had several BRs ask to borrow it to march penalty tours with -but I did refuse that, as I believed it would be considered an honor violation. This was a personal project, and if anybody was going to get in trouble for any reason, I just wanted it to be me. &emsp;&emsp;One night CPT Faust came to our room and asked to see it. I had worked with him when I was on the S-5 staff, and he was known for being extremely reasonable -so the jig was up, I showed it to him. He was impressed, laughed over it, and wished me luck in marching parade with it. &emsp;&emsp;The next day was showtime. We formed up in the courtyard for parade, and I took the fake rifle and fake bayonet with me. I had practiced "fix bayonets" with the whole setup, ensuring it would all work and I was gentle enough to ensure I didn't snap the cardboard "blade" of the handle off the bayonet. It was time to go, no turning back now. &emsp;&emsp;Storm clouds had been moving that morning, but no rain had fallen yet, and half of me hoped for rain to cancel the parade, but the other half of me really wanted this parade to happen -to finally march with this crazy project and idea I had. No rain, the parade was a "Go." It was admittedly strange to be carrying, and doing rifle manual with this fake M14 -I had to make it look like it weighed something, and make it look authentic. Everything was going fine the whole parade -it certainly passed the vibe check from the visitors' stands, and "fix bayonets" went perfectly. Now was time for "pass in review" and it was almost over, except rain drops started to fall. &emsp;&emsp;Now I was very worried -the rifle looked the part, it had gone well the whole time, but I had no idea how this thing was going to hold up to rain. With the paint applied over the cardboard and plaster, it had a little protection, but how long was that going to last? Thankfully, Alpha Company goes first, and now the rain was picking up. In what I can only image looked like a "melting" rifle, the barrel did droop a little by the time we made it to General Peay and the review stand, but it worked. &emsp;&emsp;Once we got back to our rooms, it only took several minutes before SGM Neel came to our room. He was the club advisor for the Trap and Skeet team, and I had worked with him there, and with S-5 and my photojournalism for the Institute. To my surprise, he wasn't even mad -with the year about to end in a matter of days, he just asked to see it and smiled. He then asked what I intended to do with it, and he suggested I donate it to the VMI Museum -now that was something I hadn't even thought of at all. &emsp;&emsp;The next day, COL Gibson (the VMI Museum Director) came to visit our room -I guess SGM Neel put a word in or something. He asked to look at it, and was impressed. He then asked me to do a short write up about it -"why" was his biggest question, but any other details I had about it. I basically wrote that I did it out of boredom, just to see if I could pull it off, and as an artist, I did it as a metaphor for the Institute itself -that it looks great from the outside, but may not be all that it looks on the inside. Before giving him the rifle, bayonet, and my writeup, I used White-Out to put my name and Class on the stock. When I reported to deliver it to him, he didn't seem to like the writeup, but he did receive the rifle and bayonet, and the year ended, we all left, and we all moved on. &emsp;&emsp;Several months after graduation, I received a package. It was a letter of Appreciation from the VMI Museum for my donation, and I just laughed uncontrollably. The care package, framed letter, and everything else they sent seemed like something they send to people who donated actual New Market artifacts, or legitimate unique pieces of historical or family significance. And all I did was be a "sh**bag" as a First Class Private and give them a cardboard M14. They said they might probably use it in a "Cadet Life Exhibit" or something. &emsp;&emsp;There's been a lot of speculation about this "project" over the years, and I've seen it pop up randomly on the internet and between Alumni -I just figured I'd give you the firsthand account!